remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
