just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
