we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
