GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
