I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
