That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
