Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
