Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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