he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
