i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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