my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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