Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
