Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
