if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
it glows. i had to have it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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