I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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