i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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