you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There r osticjed everywhere
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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