its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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