sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
