The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
