He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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