Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Two words: blizzard sex
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
