So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
