remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
