Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
