This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
