batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
