you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Randomize
