I'd wear matching sweaters with you
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
