the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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