Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize