Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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