well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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