I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
