There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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