I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
