WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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