Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
