Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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