he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize