remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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