Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
