so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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