Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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