I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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