question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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