Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
