Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
