dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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