forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Randomize
