Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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