it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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