Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
