Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
