At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
