some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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