I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My Sexting was not on an AP level
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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