Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
