Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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