im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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