I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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