I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
