I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
