Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
