the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
